50 Questions Tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

 Anything that has jasmines smells soooo damn good to me.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

 Jennifer Lawrence, because who else?

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Probably John Lennon. He’s cool.

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

I don’t have a particular age in mind, nor do I want to get married to my boyfriend – I prefer a long relationship than marriage – but maybe sometime before we hit 30 years old.

5. Do you know a hoarder?

Before I spring-cleaned my room a few months ago, no. After that, yes: myself. I had all sorts of things dating over ten years. TEN. YEARS.

6. Can you do the splits?

Nope. Not now or before or ever.

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

… I never did.

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

Just the Mediterranean Sea in three different countries: Malta, Gozo and Sicily.

9. How many countries have you been to?

Tunisia, Spain, France, Sicily, Italy, England, Budapest, Austria… so that’s eight.

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

Nope.

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

Anything Beatles-related – Julia, Michelle, Jude, Cynthia, Eleanor, Belle, Ebony, Stella and a lot more that cannot come to mind – and I also like Emma, Coraline, Dharla, Olivia, Lyla, Daisy, Lily, Daria, Dhalia and Emily.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

Like the previous answer, anything Beatles-related – John, Paul, George, Harrison, Lennon, Mccartney, Julian, Dhani, Sean, Zak, Daniel, Michel and a lot more that cannot come to mind – and I also like Daniel, Noah, Kurt, Axl, Jimmy, Oliver, Logan and Alexander.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

Between 30 and 50 in Math.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

That’s a long list, but anything I saw on Disney Channel, Power Rangers and anything I watched before I went to school (which were all Italian dubbed).

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

Nothing. In Malta, we only started celebrating Halloween in the past ten years

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

I’m currently on the third book of the Harry Potter series… is that bad? The rest no, and not interested.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

British… preferably Scouse or Irish.

18. Did your mother go to college?

Nope.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

Yes, even though one grandpapa passed away.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

No, but I’d like to try!

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

Who doesn’t?

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

I think it’s one in Tunisia, over 10 years ago.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

I used to be very fluent in French, but after I stopped studying it, I forgot how to speak it, so I’d like to re-start. I’d also like to speak Irish.

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

Grey.

25. Is your father bald?

No, almost though!

26. Do you know triplets?

Just twins.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

Titanic, all the way!

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

I don’t think I have.

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

Hard Rock Cafe, hell yes!

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

We don’t have one in my country.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

No.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

I asked this to my mum yesterday because I never really asked about this, and she told me they never really had a boy’s name in mind because they’ve always wanted a girl. But then she said that dad always loved Michel.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

Never really had one. But I used to be called Marshmallow back in secondary school because I had an obsession with them.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

My mother. She’s the absolute best person. And my boyfriend and BFF (I haven’t forgotten about you loves!).

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

Rural. I love peace and silence.

36. Can you whistle?

Yep!

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

I used to, but not anymore. Although my AC’s temperature is digital with a bright white LED display so hypothetically yes. I sleep with a nightlight.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Almost.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

Yes, anxiety and vitamins for concentration.

40. What medical conditions do you have?

Crippling anxiety, social anxiety, depression and mild OCD.

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Twice, if you count the day I was born.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Uhhhhhhh, who hasn’t?!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

New Look, Peacocks, Centro Moda, Matalan…

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

“Cutie” – from my boyfriend ❤

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

Most of the time, yes.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

English breakfast, medium flavour strength.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

Over 10… 15, 16?

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

I’m more a spiritual than religious person even though I was raised as one. I’ll teach my children what is right and wrong and I will respect whatever religion they want to practise.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

I don’t remember, but I was relieved because I was dead scared of him.

50. Why do you have a blog?

 Apart from always wanting to have one, I wanted to spread awareness on mental health and body positivity and equality and love around me.

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I hope you got to know me better with this tag!

I know waaay too many bloggers, so if you’re one of them…

YOU’VE BEEN TAGGED!

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Summer Survival 101

Summer… probably my least favourite season by a mile. The heat, the sweat, the chaffing of my thighs every time I dare wear a dress or shorts…! On the other hand, I get to do a lot of things I never get the time to do during Winter for various reasons: weather, time, money and a lot more.

Below are a list of things I do to survive summer, which I hope will help others. Sit back and enjoy!

“It started like any normal conversation would.” – An Account of an Abuse of Title

Someone I know approached me to write this story about an experience she had. * Names have been either omitted or changed to protect the people’s identities. I only ask for respect in the comments. There may be sexual content, so viewer discretion is advised.

Post is really long, sorry!

What I’ve Learnt during my First Year of Blogging

As you might have probably read in my previous post (if not . . . check it out!) my blog turned one this week! And I’ve decided to write more about my experience as a newbie blogger. The first post is all about the stats and achievements. This post is a little similar, with lessons I’ve learned…

1. PATIENCE: It takes a lot of work to see some real results when you open a new blog, unless you’re lucky, which is not me. Everybody says that, so what’s new? Nothing really, if everyone says it there must be a reason right? Some have it easy, like myself, who’s probably the most patient person ever
2. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT (OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES): The saying goes that the more you nurture your creature, the fatter it gets. Meaning: If you don’t write content, you don’t get traffic. One advice, stop looking at your Google Analytic. NOW. Trust me I’ve tried and no, the graph doesn’t grow by just staring at it! You need to work hard for that, but more on that on a later post . . .
3. GIVE GIVE GIVE: During this past year I (slowly) realised that people are interested in what you write, only if there is something in there for them too, so let’s forget about “me , me , me”. I also noticed one curious thing: The more I get intimate and talk about things that are personal, the better. People like informational/useful posts, true, but they also appreciate when you put your face out there. Having an opinion, being yourself, open and honest makes a big difference. Your reader is looking forward to connect with you, and with your experiences. It’s not always easy (not for me at least)but is very rewarding.
4. SUCCESS IS A RELATIVE CONCEPT: These months of blogging made me think about the word “success”. What is it really? Having many visitors and views on your blog? Popularity on social media? Getting paid to blog (Oh, I wish!)? As soon as I think that I’m “getting there”, there is always something to remind me that everything is relative. People who think I’m a pain or I’m wasting my time “playing on the internet”, when I actually have a job to do during the day. In the end, I think I finally figured out what success means to me: Being happy with my choices, doing something I love and I believe in. If I see an improvement, I see “success”.
5. I’D LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT . . . EVERYTHING!: This is the most amazing aspect. I may have been blogging for a year, but ask me what SEO is and I’d probably stare blankly at your face. But slowly and gradually, I’m learning all the terminologies and jargon that come along with blogging. It’s not just the jargon that I’d love to more about. It’s new blogging methods, new bloggers, new types of blogging and also experimenting with my own blog.

It’s OK to…

• … doubts but still choose to go after what feels right to you.
• … give up something other people say is really important that is no longer important to you.
• … love people who are still trying to learn how to love you the way you should be loved.
• … refuse to worry about tomorrow.
• … believe even though you can’t explain why and what it is you believe in.
• … choose inner peace over proving your point.
• … to completely reinvent yourself.
• … be confused and patient.
• … quit doing something that drains your positive energy.
• … only see the good in other people.
• … spend the day dreaming.
• … take time away from the things you “have to do” in order to have more time to yourself.
• … look at things from a different perspective.
• … forgive everyone – even those who don’t deserve it.
• … admit you need to improve things about yourself.
• … learn by making wrong turns and mistakes.
• … change your mind.
• … treat yourself to indulgences from time to time.
• … take the day off, the month off or even years off.
• … explain to people exactly how you feel.
• … not know the answer.
• … need and seek help.
• … start over.
• … desire “Something More” out of life.
• … be vulnerable.
• … go through a tough time.
• … slow down.
• … search for your purpose.
• … embrace uncertainty.
• … take baby steps.
• … believe anything is possible.
• … have to figure out who you really are.

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• credit – The Possibility of Today

Letter to Alice (Anxiety) and Dina (Depression)

Alice, Dina… we need to talk about some things. Well, it has been a while since we’ve last spoken to each other. I hope you two are comfortably sat down because this might be a long one.

#BreaktheStigma… from the Survivors

“People think that OCD is all about being a neat freak or washing hands.”

“My friends and I were having a discussion about suicide, and one said that anyone who commits suicide is a selfish.”

“People think that anyone who commits suicide is selfish because they don’t think of the pain their family and friends go through.”

“I think that people in general think that mental health is not as important as physical illnesses. That’s why people are embarrassed to talk about what they’re going through, especially men.”

“For me, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is like being imprisoned – caged even – in my own brain to rules and such that I have to abide to to avoid something wrong from happening!”

“People think that just because I smile and joke a lot, that I am ‘normal’ and don’t have any type of mental disorders…”

“When people talk to me, it takes me a while to actually talk, if I actually manage to. They would just say ‘Oh she’s just shy’.”

“Reality is way more than anyone thinks. Intrusive thoughts galore and never a quiet moment in your head… guilt of past mistakes, obsessing over health issues and an irrational thought which makes it so scary you end up having a panic attack… What else…? Ohh, seeking reassurance from someone means you’ll be ok for a minute and then the thoughts come back and you ask again for reassurance. It’s a vicious cycle; it never stops.”

“You’re scared that you might hurt someone although you still know you’re not going to hurt someone but you still live with that fear….”

“I have read that some people were scared being around children . Because they are scared they hurt them.”

“Obsessing about sexual orientation. If you’re straight, you think you’re gay and vice versa . I haven’t had all of these but, I know they happen.”

“In reality, in some cases, the person thinks that the world will be a better place without them.”

“… The truth is, we smile and laugh a lot to hide and bury our sadness deeper and deeper, out of fear of judgement.”

“I am not just a shy person. I am just scared of being judged for seeming vulnerable.”

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Disclaimer: What you just read have been and are in present time experienced by real people. If yourself or someone close to you are suffering from any of these symptoms, consult with a doctor and take it from there.

Y O U ‘ R E [N O T] A L O N E

B R E A K T H E [S T I G M A]

*

Things I Would Like to Do In The Future

Psychology Course

During my year-long stint at University, I studied Psychology for two semesters. I enjoyed every second of it… well, I love Psychology in general; I spent more time outside reading or surf-shopping with my classmates from my course than actually paying attention to the lectures since all the notes were sent to us by email.

Just a few days ago, I was looking for some things and I stumbled upon these Psychology notes, and it made me feel nostalgic of the one-year stint.

In a forum for the local MHA, someone wanted suggestions on Psychology courses, and a friend of mine said that she is attending one and that is is really interesting. And that triggered my sudden interest in sitting for a Psychology course… at least on Intermediate level… for now.

The brain is a fascinating thing isn’t it?

Voluntary Work

I’ve always been a keen voluntary worker, but never really found the time to do much voluntary work. Last time I did any type for voluntary work was for a school project which was worth almost half my grade. I once did voluntary work at the Notarial Archives in Valletta.

But other than that, nothing.

Now that I have three whole months in summer of not working, I decided on doing more voluntary work if I don’t manage to find a job for the summer, and decided on two organisations to give  helping hand to:

• MSPCA – Malta Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (Everyone knows I love animals, particularly dogs, and I want this experience to serve me for a future of owning a dog myself)
• Richmond Foundation – a nonprofit dealing with mental health (now you know why I want to volunteer with them).

 

Make-Up Course

I buy lots of make-up. I actually made a post about my make-up collection, which has since expanded spectacularly… and yet I have no clue how to apply eyeliner without looking borderline Panda.

So that’s why I think a makeup course would be good for me. I know several make-up artists who make the most BEAUTIFUL make-up, and I want to be able to do that too!

(Just nothing too extravagant. As if I want to look like the Mad Hatter!)

I mean, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MAKE-UP!

UPDATE: I WILL BE DOING A 3-DAY MAKEUP SEMINAR TAUGHT BY ONE OF MY FRIENDS, WHO WAS HERSELF TAUGHT BY LOCALLY RENOWNED ARTIST SHASHA FABRI AAAAAAAAAAAA!

BONUS: Have her beautiful features

Start a Nonprofit for People Without a Voice

I don’t mean people who cannot talk, but who think they are alone in the world with their problems, no matter how little or severe they are. It could be on mental health, traumatic experiences, eating disorders, sexuality… anything the world exploits and tosses aside.

Write a Self-Help Book

The goal of all future goals. I’ve alway been keen on literature and the skill of writing. I remember my earliest memory of writing a story. It was about a boy whose toys come to life and — no, not Toy Story — they take over his family and hold them hostage. Now before you say anything… I was actually around eight years old when I wrote this. EIGHT. And already writing about hostage situations! I know, I know… weird, and sad… but I always had a wild imagination ahead of me.

(It still precedes me to this day, but anyways).

But this time I don’t want to base myself on fiction, but more of a first-hand experience type of writing.

A self-help book.

With a LOT of first-hand experience to write a freaking saga, I want to put all my life together in a book to help people of all genders, ages, religions and sexual orientation. No judgement. Just guidance and illumination through writing.

And guess what…?

I’VE ALREADY STARTED IT! Yes, that’s right! I’m in the process of writing my first (and hopefully not last) book! I already have a photographer and illustrator on board… and they’re both survivors like myself! Couldn’t have asked for anyone better than them!

So stay tuned for a book with my name written on it! AAAAAAAAAA!

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So these are my future goals. I might update this post if the need arises. Let me know in the comments what YOUR goals for the future are.

That’s it from me, stay strong beautifuls x

What February 26th means to me

 

Today’s the 26th February 2017.

No doy, Sherlock. We see it on the calendar. We know. – you might think. So what’s so special about this date anyway?

It’s actually one year since I’ve been in recovery. And these are some of the things I’ve learned during this time…

Life is Beautiful

Before this day, I just existed between the wall cracks of life. Now, however, I can honestly say I’m living. And Looking around me, I see the beautiful people around me, the sky that shines day and night, animals, happiness and overall a lot of LOVE.

Yes, there are still a lot of bad things that need to be fixed in this world, but at least we should cherish the good that we have, and use it in order to spread peace, love and equality all around.

Smiling makes ANYONE look beautiful

Not only does smiling show that you are happy, but it also automatically makes you beautiful. Ignore the missing tooth, or the damaged one, or the unwhitened teeth! Everyone is beautiful no matter what shape or size ❤

I absolutely love this photo that I took this morning. I think I radiate confidence, peace, love and happiness!

Recovery takes TIME

Okay, this one is a no-brainer. Like a physical injury, mental recovery takes time. I still get bad days. I actually had one just yesterday! You just need to find that someone or something that makes you feel better and try turning your day around. It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth the try.

Recovery starts WITHIN

No medicine. No treatments. Just YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL.

I am still taking medication for my anxiety, but recovery starts from WITHIN yourself. Change the way you look at things and life, be more open-minded and trust me, things WILL start turning around for you.

You just have to believe, and achieve 🙂

Calling for help is NOT a sin

I cannot stress this enough. I wish the text has lights blinking to grab everyone’s attention. Help doesn’t have to be professional if you’re not ready to take it up to that notch. Talk to a family member, a friend, your significant other, your colleagues, your boss… anyone you can trust really. Just open up and you’ll feel instantly better!

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The post is written in green not for a random reason (or because it’s one of my favourite colours). It’s because it is the colour of Mental Health. So spread awareness in May, which is the Mental Health Awareness Month, and wear/write in/think Green.