Dear Demi,

My feelings are all over the place as I’m writing this. To be honest, they’re always all over the place, But that’s not the point.

The point is, the mental health community – sufferers and professionals – send you peace, love and light.

My Experience with Body Confidence

I just have to say that this is in no way, shape or form body/fat/skinny shaming anyone. I myself was a victim of fat shaming growing up. However, being too fat is as dangerous as being too skinny. BUT if you love your body, no matter what shape or size it is, then good on you! I support that more than anything. On the other hand, though, if you’re not happy with your body, consult a doctor, or a psychologist, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Growing up, I was quite okay with my body shape – neither skinny or fat. I was an average eater (if it is such a thing), and played football and tag like my life depended on it. I was active, participated in scholastic sports’ events and sometimes even won medals (okay, so I only won two in my whole life, but let’s just say I was okay in sports).

Fast forward to the hardest phase anyone goes through: puberty. I mean, not everyone would say that time in their was awful, especially those flat-chested girls who miraculously grew a pair almost overnight (hands up). While the grow-a-pair part was good while it lasted (excessiveness is another extremity), other things started happening… acne and weight gain to name a few.

The acne part was what bothered me at first. I’d get envious of other girls with flawless faces. I sometimes applied foundation, but the bumps still showed. I was a mess. Sometimes, I would even go to the extreme extent as to want to scratch the flawlessees’ faces. Just so they would look similar to me.

As if acne wasn’t enough of a problem, in comes gaining weight. No longer active in sports due to the constant bullying, I gained weight. Being taller than other girls didn’t help either. I was called ‘Shrek’ and ‘Big Guy’. Yes, Big Guy. Because I loved sports. And I was ‘big’ compared to the rest of my peers. this is what started my love/hate relationship with my body.

I’d go days without eating anything, or if I did eat, it would be something as little as two crackers. But then, I’d go on an eating rampage, until I was too full to move a muscle. This went on from the age of 11 until 20, which is just last year.

This year, however, I learnt to accept my body.

You’d be asking, “How the heck did you manage that?”

Here’s my secret… there is none! I did what other people do when they feel this way: got my fat, sad peach off my comfy desk chair and started exercising. It cleared my mind off of the negativity I had going through my mind, and helped me focus on loving my body. Yoga and going to the gym also helped. And yes, there were fit, skinny girls at the gym I attended. But that didn’t stop me. No, sir!

You know what else helped? Celebrities like these…

“I’ve seen a lot of comments that say, ‘Eat a sandwich’ or ‘She looks sick.’ I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror being mean to myself. I’m not sick. I eat sandwiches. I’ve shamed myself for it. We shame each other online. We’re always too skinny or too fat or too tall or too short. It bothers me because I care so much about young girls.” – Emma Stone

“I’m constantly criticised for being too skinny. I’m trying to gain weight but my body won’t let it happen. What people don’t understand is that calling someone too skinny is the same as calling someone too fat, it’s not a nice feeling.” – Kendall Jenner

“If a girl wears a bathing suit, she is a ho and is body-shamed. If you don’t show your body, you’re a prude. You take pictures with a guy and you’re a ho; you take pictures with a girlfriend and you’re a lesbian. I don’t understand how girls can sit there and pick one another apart.” – Bella Thorne

And the Preach It Gurl Award goes to…

“It was just the kind of s**t that actresses have to go through. Somebody told me I was fat, that I was going to get fired if I didn’t lose a certain amount of weight. They brought in pictures of me where I was basically naked, and told me to use them as motivation for my diet. They thought that because of the way my career had gone, it wouldn’t still hurt me. ‘If anybody even tries to whisper the word “diet”, I’m like, “You can go f*** yourself.” – (Queen) Jennifer Lawrence

So if you ever feel down about your body, or find it funny to call others for the way they look, (quoting Phil Collins) STOP. THINK TWICE. Your words can hurt yourself, but most of all how others perceive you.

Do NOT let anyone tell you how you should and shouldn’t look. Be proud of you. You are unique. There is no one like you. No one can do you better than you.

Love yourself. Love your body.

5/Infinity Songs That Helped Me Through Tough Times

This quote couldn’t have described what music means to me more accurately. During the hardest times of my life, music was my saviour, my speaker, my expression. To help the helpless, I have compiled a personal list of songs that have helped me get up on my feet.

Shout by Tears for Fears

Shout!
Shout!
Let it all out!
These are the things I can do without!
Come on!
I’m talking to you!
Come on!

Written in the midst of the Cold War in 1984, this song is actually a political protest, but the chorus is like a call for help, to voice your opinions. It is a call for protest, lead singer Roland Orzabal explained when the song came out. Couldn’t agree more.

Skyscraper by Demi Lovato

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Also someone who battled depression and anxiety, the song empowers its listeners to feel good about themselves. The song is about staying strong and believing in oneself. Demi Lovato hopes that “people are able to relate to it and realize that they are able to rise above and overcome any obstacle, no matter the circumstances and shine like a skyscraper”. 100% accurate.

Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen

I’m a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I’m a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I’m gonna go go go
There’s no stopping me

Deemed the most commonly mentioned song to be uplifting in a 2000 survey. Do NOT tell me you haven’t air-guitared along this song at least once in your life. I double dare you.

The Pretender by Foo Fighters

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

Shouting the chorus in the eyes of all those who brought me down would be empowering.

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

It’s the eye of the tiger
It’s the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watching us all with the eye of the tiger

This song is a no-brainer when it comes to motivation.

What’s on my Spotify?

My Spotify probably says more about me than anything else, even this whole blog. I listen to music on Spotify every chance I get (poor old CDs, just sitting there, waiting to be played). So let’s begin our journey into the labyrinth that is my taste in music… and also myself.

• Rock music

I’m a rock chick. Always have been, always will be. I have any type of rock music, from old school to modern, hard to soft. Zeppelin, Queen, Journey are my top three at the moment.

• The Beatles

People who know me will know this is a no-brainer. I love The Beatles with all my heart. They have helped me with my self-esteem ages before the anxiety kicked in. I have all their songs in my playlist because, well, why not?

• Guilty Pleasures

Starting from cheesy Eurovision tunes and ending with Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ and Kelis’ ‘Milkshake’. Need I say more?

• Today’s Top Hits

Ariana Grande, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Jonas and loads more. These are just to name a few favourites.

• Childhood Throwbacks

S Club 7, Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls are amongst my favourite childhood acts of all time.

• Demi Lovato

She deals with mental health like me, so listening to her is a must. Her music really speaks to me.

• Love Songs

Whether I’m feeling the love or not, love songs is a definite in my playlist. Ranging from old to modern, I have it all. (Stay tuned for a future post regarding songs to play at your wedding!). most of them, if you must know, are by Phil Collins, god of all love songs.

So this was my sweet, short and simple post about what kind of music I listen to basically. So let me know in the comments; what type of music are you jamming to right now? And what type of music do you listen to in general? That’s it from me, see you on the flip side!

Photo credit: Pinterest.com