Things need to change

This is more of a personal post where I just rant about how I’m feeling. I have already done this rant with a few people, and yet, I don’t feel better.

So as some of you may know, I will now be working in a different school this scholastic year, and… things are not going too well. I know, I’ve only been to this place once, yesterday, for four hours, but something seemed off.

The moment I entered the school, I felt like I was suffocated even though it was three if not four times the size of the other school I worked with. I got there before most of the staff, so there weren’t that many people – only a handful – around. I was so lost, it took me a solid twenty minutes to find someone to direct me towards where I needed to go. Their response? “I don’t know where you [I’m an LSA] usually stay since you don’t have your own room.”

I’m sorry, Teacher, but am I not part of your college/school/staff team? Can’t I, a newbie, barely half an hour into her first day of work, stay with you for five minutes? Or at least until someone gets here?

Then, when people finally started showing up, I only recognised two persons: a teacher that used to teach me in secondary school (all we exchanged was a ‘hi’ and ‘we were in the same school together!’), and n SA who was in the same course as me in the beginning of the year. Did this LSA talk to me? No. I assume she didn’t even recognise me (I have this thing where I recognise people who don’t return the gesture).

During the first meeting, I sat alone. Nobody came to sit in the seat next to me. Quite reassuring. The staff members behind me kept bickering and commenting on every single thing that was said. Really puts a stamp on some people huh. Oh, and the man in front of me pushed his chair back to my knees, leaving me with no space to move my feet at all, and when I brought this to his attention, he frowned and ignored me. Three times I asked him, and very politely, and three times he ignored me. Could I have moved? No, because others put their stuff on the empty chairs.

You can get a jist of how I feel right now.

Out of place. Sad. Frustrated. Anxious.

I don’t love it here, yet I don’t hate it here. Will these feelings change? I sure as hell hope so because this is the first time I cried after a first day of anything. Ever. In the last job, as soon as I entered the building, I felt so right at home, every single day. Of course, the place came with a few downfalls, but they didn’t affect me that much. Not as much as here anyways.

Why the title “Things need to change”? Because it’s obvious: I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t like it in this place. I cannot ask for a transfer because apparently I need to pay for that. I cannot quit because it is what I want to do. I have no other thing to do than pretend to be okay when I’m not at this point.

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Working in Education

For those who do not know, I work in the Education industry as what most people call a Specialist Teacher. In my country, we are called LSAs, an abbreviation for Learning Support Assistant. This summer, I worked for the first time as a Child Support Worker during summer school.

In case you were wondering, no, this isn’t my first job, and haven’t been doing this for long. In fact, I only started in late January of last year. So I’m not really an expert in this area, but I’m willing to give you a lowdown on what it’s like to work in education.

Things Only People Who Work in Clothes Shops Understand Too Well

After a two-year absence from the retail scene, I have returned to earn a little side cash for my Mustang (or, you know, something of that sort). I’ve done retail for three years in two different shops, and I have seen numerous shite happening while I was on duty.

These are just some of them…

 

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Getting annoyed when your friends make weekend plans and you have to turn them down because you’re doing the closing at 8pm. Again.

Being asked whether something is on sale when it obviously isn’t.

“Oh it doesn’t say it’s on sale? Well it’s probably not on sale then.”

“Does it show a discounted price? No? Use your head, ma’am.”

When customers pick something up and don’t put it back in the same place.

How very CONSIDERATE of you for giving me something to do.

The importance of making sure every hanger is facing the same way.

And that every row of hangers is evenly spaced.

The very specific pain you can only understand if you’ve been on your feet for more than 8 hours straight.

When you’re asked to explain the returns policy and you’re like, “SURE I’D LOVE TO READ YOUR RECEIPT TO YOU.”

Just don’t buy things you don’t want and we’ll both live.

The art of using a folding board correctly.

And lining up every shirt perfectly, and in size order.

When a customer tells you to enjoy your weekend, even though you’re very obviously working instead of enjoying.

When a customer says, “You must be exhausted!” and you’re like, “YEAH, NO SHIT.”

When a customer comes out of a changing room and you have to tell them they look great even when they don’t.

“That floral top with bright colours and studs all over is so in, ma’am!”

Being handed a shirt that someone has just tried on and left makeup all over.

Hating Christmas by Dec. 1 because you’ve been surrounded by decorations for MONTHS.

 

If you see one more set of flashing lights…

Not to mention never wanting to hear Christmas music ever again.

And then being asked to wrap all your family’s Christmas presents because, you know, you’re so good at it.

Of course, the only thing worse than Christmas is January sales.

When people take 1,000 items into a changing room and leave 999 of them scrunched up in a pile on the floor.

 Or they hand them to you thinking you have nothing better to do.

The moment you’re about to take a break and suddenly the shop is full again.

 

“JUST LET ME EAT IN PEACE.”

When all you want to do is sleep but all you’re allowed to do is greet.

 “Hey! Welcome! Have a great day!” Bleurghhhhhh.

The intense fury that builds up inside you as a customer pays exclusively in coins.

Especially if they put the coins on the table instead of in your outreached palm.

When an item doesn’t scan and the customer jokes that it must be free.

“What an original joke. I have certainly never heard that one before. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.”

Finishing your shift at 6 p.m. and having to rest instead of drinking with your friends.

Feeling close to tears every time you’re asked to put together a window display.

People who are “just looking”.

People who are “just looking” two minutes before the shop closes.

“No, honestly. Take your time. It’s not like your casual browsing is affecting my evening plans. OH YEAH IT IS.”

When someone asks you to get your manager and you’re like, “Oh sure, I’d love to get my manager.”

“Because I’m obviously not capable of dealing with your very difficult problem myself.”

When a customer tries to use a discount voucher that expired three years ago.

 

“Can you READ?”

Or worse, when a customer tries to return something that has very clearly been worn.

When you don’t know whether the card machine’s being glitchy or the customer just doesn’t have enough money.

FINALLY being given a weekend off, and being called at the last minute to cover someone else’s shift.

Like why. Why.

Dim the Spotlight on… Robin Williams [#2]

THIS IS A NEW SERIES WHICH CONSISTS OF ME LOOKING BACK AT ARTISTS I LOVE AND HAVE INFLUENCED ME THAT ARE UNFORTUNATELY NO LONGER ALIVE.

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This is quite a difficult post to write; I’ve had to do a lot of research on the matter and I was quite surprised with what I found about the comedian’s untimely death. My earliest memory of his acting was either in Jumanji or Mrs Doubtfire when I was still a child.

The assumption was the Robin Williams ended his life due to struggles with depression, which he was known to have dealt with when he was still alive. And I will repeat again: this was the assumption.

In a recent interview, Susan Williams, Robin’s widow, revealed that he was actually struggling with dementia with Lewy Bodies – also called Lewy Body dementia. While making the loss of such a beloved individual no less tragic, this does throw a different light on matters.

So what is Dementia with Lewy Bodies?

Dementia with Lewy Bodies is not as common or well known as depression, or the more familiar forms of dementia, most obviously Alzheimer’s disease. However, even among the grim spectrum of neurological disorders and mental illnesses, dementia with Lewy Bodies is a particularly nasty condition.

Put simply, Lewy Bodies are lumps, known as aggregates, of misshapen protein (of the type Alpha-synuclein) that occur in nerve cells (neurons) of people with certain conditions, most often Parkinson’s disease, and but also (obviously) dementia with Lewy Bodies. Cells as complex and important as neurons produce a bewildering array of proteins, to aid in the necessary functions and form the delicate cytoskeletal structure in place to maintain everything.

The most likely people to develop dementia with Lewy Bodies are men, aged early 60s to 70s. Sadly, Robin Williams fell right into this category.

So it wasn’t depression after all?

As Susan Williams said, if Robin Williams had depression at the time of his death, it was one of countless other symptoms he was dealing with. A look at the very brief summary shows just how all-consuming dementia with Lewy Bodies can be.

But depression and dementia with Lewy Bodies often occur together, as is the case with most dementias. This is entirely understandable; it would take someone of superhuman mental fortitude to not let such a diagnosis affect them very deeply. It’s like depression with anxiety: they often co-occur together.

We will never know exactly what Robin Williams was thinking when he opted to end his own life, and at this point it seems disrespectful and more than a little sinister to keep asking about this. However, given the number of things dementia with Lewy Bodies can put a person through, accusations of “selfishness” now seem more unwarranted than ever.

#MyTwistedMind Two – Hercules

#MyTwistedMind is a series in which I feature an alternative ending to classic and/or popular stories/movies/books. These are very short posts as you may notice while reading them, and I shall be taking requests to any stories you want me to change.

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Hercules unfortunately lost all his godly abilities. Meg died after being crushed by a column, which left him heartbroken. Hades, being more powerful than ever, made Hercules and the other gods his slaves. Phil was forced to train Hades’ friends to become stronger. Eventually, the world turned from a happy, beautiful place to one full of hate and sadness.

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Summer Survival 101

Summer… probably my least favourite season by a mile. The heat, the sweat, the chaffing of my thighs every time I dare wear a dress or shorts…! On the other hand, I get to do a lot of things I never get the time to do during Winter for various reasons: weather, time, money and a lot more.

Below are a list of things I do to survive summer, which I hope will help others. Sit back and enjoy!

20 Signs You Love TV Series More Than People

Another relatable list of things you know you are and cannot help admit to but it’s okay because we are all these kinds of people who makes us human so it’s okay.

Did I say it’s okay?

Sunshine Blogger Award!

Around a week ago, I was nominated for my first award by the lovely Caroline. The rules are pretty simple . . .

Thank the blogger who nominated them and link back to their blog

Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated them

Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 new questions to answer

Notify your nominees and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post

Here are the questions I have been asked:

Why do you blog?

I blog not only because I’ve always wanted to or because I’ve been writing since I learned how to, but most especially to spread awareness on the stigma on mental health. To enjoy life and spread peace and love, one must be in love with his inner self, and that is what I advocate for.

What is your first memory?

Wow, um… I honestly have no idea. I never really thought about it, but I think it would be when I was still in Year 6 (9-10 years of age) and it suddenly hit me that in Year 7 I’d be separated from most of my friends, especially the male ones since I was going to an all-girls school. What can I say? I was a bit of a boy magnet!

If you were a painter, what would you paint?

I would paint something that makes people feel relaxed and at peace and loved, and they get the urge to spread those positive feelings everywhere they go. If I had to choose a painting that, in my opinion, represents that to me, it would be Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh.

If you could live in any book, which would it be and why?

Many would say Harry Potter, but would you really want to live in a world where Umbridge was alive?! I think not! I’d probably live in the world of Coraline by Neil Gaiman, because it is so beautifully written. It’s a perfect example of a horror book appropriate for children.

What was your dream job when you were 5?

My earliest memory of talking about a career was when I was at a bank with my mother when I wasn’t even eight years old, and the nice lady banker asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I immediately replied, “A mummy.” She smiled and explained that anyone can be a mum. This was also a time where I thought babies were made when a man and a woman kissed.

After that, I think I’ve always been into jobs which required travelling: a tour leader, air hostess, museum curator, journalist, writer.

What is one thing you will never do?

Start a war. Literally, figuratively, hypothetically or metaphorically. War is never the solution to anything, but unfortunately not everyone agrees.

In an alternate reality, which country are you born/raised in?

Merseyside, Liverpool since the 1940s. I used to live in an area known as Speke, where my good friends George and Paul also lived. You might know them, they went on to became half of the very legendary band The Beatles.

If you could create a new food, what would it be and why?

A cake made entirely out of chips (fries for the Americans) and chicken and pizza. My mouth is currently watering at the thought!

What is your favorite smell/scent?

Tea and gasoline, the latter which I aware is really bad for my health, but I still love it.

What would be your superpower if you had one?

The ability to heal anyone and anything.

At some point in your life, would you like to know the future? (never, only under certain circumstances, absolutely, etc.)

Absolutely never! What if I turn out the opposite of who I am? I’d be devastated for sure! So no, I’ll live my life with lots of questions about my future, thank you very much.

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My nominees are! . . .

1. Alexandra
2. Fiona
3. Lyndsey
4. Kezia
5. Kelly
6. Svetlana
7. Caroline
8. Yvonne
9. Pavli
10. Deborah
11. Lara

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My questions are! . . .

1. What inspired you to blog?
2. If you had to stick to one make-up brand for the rest of life, which would it be and why?
3. Which is your favourite blog post?
4. If you had to be one person – dead or alive – who would it be and what would be the first thing you did as this person?
5. What’s your favourite place in the whole world?
6. If you had to travel to the past in a particular decade, which would it be and why?
7. What advice would you give to your younger self?
8. Name three people you look up to.
9. What is the one thing you never leave home without?
10. What is your all-time favourite song?
11. What advice would you give to beginner bloggers?

How I get Traffic on my Blog

As a follow-up to my recent first blogiversary, I will be talking about how I get as much traffic as possible. I know there are a LOT of ways to do so, but like the title says, I’m still a beginner AND a cheapskate (not really… but I don’t like spending a LOT of money… so am I???) and as much as SEO (Search Engine Optimizer) works, it is a Premium feature and I cannot afford that at the moment.

Facebook

The first thing I did was create a Facebook page for my blog. It took me a while to get it up and running properly, but in the end, it was all worth it. Not many people like and comment on the page since I have the sharing setting on my posts so that they automatically show up on the page, so I went a step further . . .

. . . and created a Facebook group! I was inspired by the several bloggers and fashionistas who created a group to promote their blog, and that has so far worked really well, and it gives other people an opportunity to promote their work and sell things freely. So I suggest you join now ;D

Related to my group is joining blogging groups on Facebook. I’m in probably around 20 of them – two of which are local – and it’s when I joined such groups that I started seeing some results.

Tags

Tags also play an important and crucial part in getting traffic on your blog. Say someone is looking for a post about the meaning of life. What tags would you use? I’d probably go for the obvious ‘meaning of life’ ‘search for happiness’ and ‘philosophy’ to name a few. I’m still awful at tags, but slowly learning.

Links

Did you notice something I’ve been doing throughout my posts, where I link to related posts/websites? That’s another thing that helps not only other websites to get recognition, but also you. Why? Because they’d be so thankful that they would consider promoting YOU in return! Just think about it 😉

Other websites that help

I’ve started using Linkedin a couple of months ago when I wanted a page that’s more business-y. I use it to promote my blog, my collaborations and things related to my work, and made some really cool friends from there (if you’re Kelly, I mean you!).

Two other sites you can use to promote your latest posts are Blogarama and, the best one yet, Livinvia, so I will be talking about the latter into detail. I found out about Livinvia from one of the many FB groups that I joined, and decided to give it a go. It is divided into categories, such as Health, Tips, Technology, Fashion and much more . . . and it is completely FREE!

Content

I couldn’t elaborate more than this, so here are the best content tips for traffic:

 

• Leave thoughtful comments on other people’s blogs with hope of getting recognition on your blog AND connect with other bloggers
• Write shorter posts, something which I am quite good at since my posts usually do not exceed the 600-word mark
• Blog consistently
• Organize your posts with lists and subheads
• Write stuff people will want to link to
• Ask questions
• Be funny, clever, remarkable . . so, not me!
• Do some public speaking (Remember the one I did
• Write attractive headlines, so maybe quotes could be good
• Deliver killer content
• Guest post on someone else’s blog
• Tell stories

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Have you used any of these? How did they work out for you? Any tips you use for traffic which I have not mentioned above? Let me know in the comments below! Let’s connect!